I’ve heard it so many times, even more so in the past week. From friends, from clients, from family; surprisingly, mostly from guys. And, though it was incredibly true in the most recent case, I couldn’t help but wonder how many times it’s not true. How often is he not actually a dick and really just a good guy trying to do the right thing?
Louis C. K. has a bit about this exact topic. Two girls he overheard talking about how one was recently rejected by a guy who the other decided is clearly “a piece of shit.”
Is a guy really a dick or a piece of shit just because he doesn’t think you’re compatible? In the same vein, is a girl a bitch because she just wants to be friends?
I’ve been on many a date with guys who were absolutely wonderful and will one day make some girl very happy, but they weren’t the one for me. If they ever sought solace in their bros after I ended things (or just slowly let the text chain die), I’m sure there was a resounding chorus of “whatever dude, she’s a bitch” before someone changed topics. On the flip side, as soon as anything ends with a guy in my life, by his choice, I am on the receiving end of endless “he’s a dick” support.
When there’s a level of disrespect, leading someone on, dishonesty, and disloyalty, yes, he’s a dick and she’s a bitch. When the grounds for discontinuation stem from a place of honesty, respect, and loyalty, let’s cut people some slack.