Sleeping pills

As an insomniac, I’ve experimented with my fair share of sleeping pills. Some are meant to get you over that initial hurdle of falling asleep, some aid in keeping you there once you shut your eyes, some specifically target symptoms that may be keeping you awake, such as pain, cough, headache, etc. In my time conducting unofficial sleeping pill research, I’ve made three interesting, if not groundbreaking, observations:

1) There is no nap-strength sleeping pill. Can we look into a one hour dose?

2) “I’m sick” PM medications only have a 6 hour dosage. I’m sick! Give me at least 8 hours, please.

3) Advil PM has foregone their traditional sugar coating, which, I can only assume, is because they know you brushed your teeth before getting in bed and wouldn’t want their sweet, sugar coating to compromise your freshly polished smile.

Having been awake since 3:45am thinking about all of this, I think it’s sleeping pill time. If I take half a pill, will it only knock me out for half the time or will it just half ass knock me out for the whole time?


One thought on “Sleeping pills

  1. Please research a keep you up pill for your next segment. How a 30 year old doses off at work after 9 hours of sleep is ridiculous.

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