Year in review

photoAs 2013 comes to a close and we begin the journey of 2014, I’d like to reflect on some memorable moments from the last 364 days…

-I came to the realization that my thoughts need more than 140 characters to truly mature and express themselves and, thus, started a blog. You’re welcome. My personal favorite, so far: My Gene Pool.

-I went on some absurdly entertaining first dates, including the one with a clever gent who invited me to his “favorite neighborhood bar” then conveniently forgot it was cash only…and had no cash…and the ATM was broken. We also discovered we had a mutual friend halfway through the date and he texted said friend “I’m with Stacey!”, to which said friend replied “Who’s Stacey?”. I’m Stefany and there was no second date.

-I fell in love once. Just once.

-I got my nose pierced. I was then informed by my grandfather that God is very unhappy with me for doing so and I should seriously consider the religious consequences of my nasal ornament. I prayed about it and I think my new bling is pretty low on the list of Stefany Shenanigans, so it’s staying.

-I received my first jury summons, was selected as a juror AND chosen to be the forewoman. I executed my fore-duties flawlessly, until we settled on a verdict of not guilty and I asked my fellow jurors how long they thought we’d have to wait for sentencing.

-I went to my first strip club. Eh.

-I completed my first, solo, sprint triathlon. It was terrible. The weather was everything you’d wish for your worst enemy, but it was me. I can’t help but wonder who out there not only hates me but also knew I was doing the tri and wished for the worst possible combination of cold and wet. Whoever you are, I finished. Since junior high cross country, I’ve been known for having a look of pure torture on my face while racing, and this tri was no exception. My face, apparently, expressed so much pain and horror as I reached the second transition that my friend, who had already completed the race and changed into warm dry clothes and probably had a latte whilst waiting for me to finish, stopped me to ask if I was hurt. In retrospect, I now realize that look of genuine angst and terror is the face of regret. Please, no pictures during the half marathon I’m supposed to run in a few months.

-I saw Morgan Freeman, Casey Affleck, Kurt Russell, Liev Schrieber, Justin Timberlake, Jimmy Fallon, Victor Garber, Zachary Levi, Sean William Scott, Tate Donavan, and Dylan McDermott throughout the city. None of them tried to make out with me. It was shocking.

-I partially fulfilled my decade-old Ron Weasley fantasy. I also promised not to blog about it, so I really can’t go into further detail. There was a redhead. It was entirely PG.

-I summered in Montauk for the first time since moving to New York in 2007. Coincidentally, I also got in trouble with the Montauk police for the first time since moving to New York in 2007. Apparently, there’s a dress code for night swimming. Noted.

-I was told on several occasions by various people that I look like both Marnie from Girls and Mary from Downton Abbey. These are just about as believable as the time I was told I look like Demi Moore. Are brunettes truly that indistinguishable?

-I Instagramed 40 pictures of my #cat #duke. Yes, I counted and, honestly, I thought it would be more. In all fairness, she’s adorable. 

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