Accidental escort

I typically prefer to approach dating as a more personal than professional venture; however, I completely understand how some women may blur the the line.

Last night, I went on a first date with an absolute gentleman who insisted on paying for everything throughout the evening. As we ventured from pre-dinner-cocktails-with-a-view to a bar that, unfortunately, no longer existed, I found $14 skipping across the sidewalk. Though we planned to stop at a deli and purchase scratch-offs, we got a bit sidetracked with Irish dive bars and Ethiopian restaurants. I just woke up and found the $14 in my back pocket and came to the realization that I actually made a profit on the evening. I also came to the realization that I’m the world’s cheapest accidental escort, with a rate of $2.

To clarify, for second date purposes, this accidental escort is officially retiring. Those Craigslist ads are going to have to find somebody else to go out with men for thousands of dollars. From now on, I only go out with men for free!

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