An open letter

Dear men on bikes,

Enough already. What’s your goal when you come whizzing past and yell “you’re beautiful!”?

First of all, you’re on a bike and I’m on foot. Do you expect me to chase after you until you hit a stop light and I can return the compliment? Though my purse is full of some incredibly obscure and entirely unnecessary items, I don’t carry a spare set of rollerblades for the purpose of mobile flattery.

Secondly, you just spent the past several blocks in hot pursuit of my back. You clearly have no clue whether I’m “beautiful” or not, you simply think I have a nice ass. Thank you for keeping chivalry alive, but your attempt at good manners is futile. Any man who considers high-speed catcalling a suitable pickup method clearly doesn’t fall under the “gentleman” category.

Third, thank you. I’ve been working out.




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