I woke up this morning and discovered that, after three years, Time Warner Cable finally realized they’ve been giving me free cable. Honestly, this was devastating. Without Willy and Matt and Natalie to entertain me, I was stuck alone with my thoughts and I was scared. Thankfully, instead of heading down a potentially dangerous and self-destructive track, my train of thought started to ponder the other unconventional* ways I’ve pinched pennies since moving to this over-priced city.
-Instead of lint rolling my clothes thrice a day, I lint roll my cat once a week.
-I drop off my laundry the same day I have plans to see a movie, so I can pick up some fun-sized butterfingers compliments of Island Oasis Cleaners.
-As long as Dunkin Donuts continues with their self-serve napkin strategy, there’s really no point in buying paper towels.
-What magazine subscriptions? It’s entirely okay to borrow magazines from the gym, as long as they’re returned in a timely manner.
-I save a surprisingly large amount of money on therapy by going to solo,
weekday matinees, instead. (Highly suggest The Way Way Back)
-Why pay for AC when you can just cut the backs off all of your shirts?
-Don’t waste your money on a new laptop; start a company and your mom will buy one for you.
*borrowed cable isn’t standard procedure