Hair & Makeup

As far as hair and makeup, I’m incredibly low maintenance; if you ask my friends, family, and exes, I’m probably too low maintenance. I completely understand the purpose and know quite a few people who do it well, but it’s just not my thing.

My normal routine consists of face wash, 2-in-1 shampoo and conditioner, perfume, deodorant, and Vaseline…in that order. I have a couple 2-in-1 options in the shower to keep my hair guessing, and, maybe once a week, I’ll use actual shampoo and conditioner. This is quite rare. Just about as rare as brushing my hair. I typically turn off the shower, open the curtain, grab one of the towels hanging on the back of the bathroom door (green and white striped is my favorite), dry off top to bottom, step out of the shower, wrap and roll my little towel dress, then grab the small hair wrap hanging on the door. I’m sure the wrap came with a promise of drying my hair faster or giving it more volume, but I just use it for the convenient size. It wraps perfectly around my hair with a small amount leftover to tuck underneath. Got the full visual of post-shower Stefany?

I then do one of the girliest things in my entire hair and makeup routine. I once read that perfume absorbs better into damp skin, and have ever since applied my perfume immediately after toweling off. No recollection of where I read this, nor have I ever done a quick google search to confirm its validity; even now, I’m continuing to write this post instead of hopping on the google machine. It’s my routine, and its now stuck that way; however, if you’re inspired to search and confirm, please update me. I’m stubborn, but also hate being wrong.

A close second for the girliest step of my routine, I have different perfumes for different occasions. Nothing too crazy, but I used to work for a PR firm that represented several beauty clients and, thus, collected far too many perfume bottles. Much like my shampoo habits, I like to rotate between a few options to keep it more interesting. If you catch a whiff of Burberry, we’re probably going to end up at happy hour in the near future. If there’s a slight Ysatis scent in my presence, I’ve started to wear my grandma’s perfume and you should immediately stage an intervention. If you ever pick up a hint of Marc Jacob’s Daisy, I’m either planning to see someone I like like, just saw someone I like like, or I like like you. Surprise!

As my carefully-selected perfume dries, I release my hair from its handy wrap and do a quick finger comb. Again, maybe once a week, I’ll use an actual brush to create a perfect part and comb through any tangles. Either way, that’s where the hair routine ends. No product, no dryer, no leave-in conditioner, no spray. I have a tiny travel blow dryer in my apartment only because my mom got fed up with not having one to use while staying with me. I’ve used it once in three years and had to take a picture so my friends would actually believe me.

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Depending on the timing, I may then separate my hair into two pigtails and, one side at a time, give myself a trim. I have zero experience cutting hair, aside from the hack jobs I used to do on my barbies, so it’s unclear why I think this is a good idea. Much like my childhood experience, I tend to go from side to side trying to even things out until I realize my trim is more of a 6-inch haircut. Thankfully, my pigtailed trim strategy only allows me to cut so far before things get even more complicated and I can no longer see what I’m cutting. I’ve paid someone else to cut my hair twice in the past three years. Both times, the reaction has been “Who cut your hair last?! Please don’t ever see them again.” Whoops.

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I then get dressed, deodorize myself, and rub a bit of Vaseline on my lips. Mascara has recently become more of a friend than an acquaintance; real black mascara, I’m not even using the clear stuff anymore, even though mom puts a new tube in my stocking each Christmas. Much to the chagrin of my dad and brother, I’ve also befriended lipstick. Nothing subtle, of course, but bright pops of color that distract people from the fact that I’m not wearing any other makeup. Mascara and lipstick aren’t a daily thing, but they happen often enough to be considered regulars in my routine and, thus, deserved an honorable mention in this post.

It’s quite simple, but there are perks to my routine:
-No surprises! What you see is what you get. There may be some unexpected personality quirks, but I tend to look the same in the morning as I did the night before.

-I can rub and scratch my eyes whenever I want. Typically when I’m sleepy, something sneaks in there, or they itch, but I can honestly mess with them anytime I feel like it without fear of looking like a train wreck in the face.

-I travel light. All I need in my purse is mascara and whatever I’ve chosen to decorate my lips for the day, leaving plenty of room for bandaids, chargers, backup lipstick options, basic Chapstick option, snacks, reading material, napkins, etc.

-It’s that much more noticeable when I actually put makeup on. Last time I put eyeliner on before meeting a friend, he looked at me and said “Whoa! Do you have a date after this?” I did.

-My hair and makeup budget is quite minimal, so there’s a lot more to spend on working lunches at Wahoo’s, Big Daddy’s, Brother Jimmy’s Union Square, Brother Jimmy’s Lex, Brother Jimmy’s Original…

That one time birchbox gave me a makeover.

That one time birchbox gave me a makeover.

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