So shoe me.

I have 130 pairs of shoes and that’s just not okay. What’s worse, they range from snow boots to 5-inch heels.

35 heels
24 boots
23 flats
21 sandals
7 sneakers
7 flip flops
5 running shoes
4 wedges
3 rain boots
1 snow boots

Some issues…
-I’m already the height of an average man; is it really necessary to rub it in even more?
-I own white fur boots. Dumb & Dumber-style.
-How does one run in five pairs of shoes at the same time?
-I look like a drunk baby giraffe when I try to walk in any heel over 2″.
-Several pairs have never been worn.
-I own a pair of shoes made by Timberland. They’re navy loafers with white rubber soles.
-Where does one wear black and silver mirror wedges?
-I don’t recall ballet wrap sneakers being a thing, Kate Spade.
-My “snow boots” are from BJ’s. Thanks, grandma and grandpa.
-I have 130 pairs of shoes. Not okay.

Silver lining…I don’t own a single pair of wedge sneakers.

I’m not a hoarder, I’m a collector.




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