The problem with living alone

No one is around when you…
-put your shirt on inside out and your sweatpants on backwards
-make the shot from the couch to the trash can…with your weak hand
-need a few more dollars to meet the seamless delivery minimum
-watch 27 Dresses thrice in one weekend
-decide it’s a good idea to get dressed and go meet Montauk guy at 1am
-lock yourself out and have to climb up the fire escape and break into your own home
-don’t see the spider until 30 seconds after you get in the shower
-leave the house with your “sparkly booger” (as my dad calls it) sticking completely out

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